Trying to figure out all that has been going on with Carrie’s health has been overwhelming, to say the least. I am just a simple person that works in the information technology field that loves amateur radio, firearms, and serving in the Children’s Ministry at church. When Carrie showed concern about something she found in her right breast two months ago, I naturally did not know what to think. After a round of testing, the Dr. called Carrie on a Monday and Carrie did a three-way phone call as I was at work. The Dr. begins talking about malignancy and what we needed to start doing. I had no idea what that was. Turns out malignant is nothing but a synonym for cancer. What a great eye for the obvious, right?
I am very much a morning person. I would rather get up early in the morning and start the day. Carrie is just the opposite. She is happy with a 3 am bedtime and sleeping until 10 am if allowed too. Most of her emotions come out at about 2 am, but I am willing to listen. In one of the breakdowns early in the morning, she said what is the purpose? What’s the meaning of this? Everything happens for a reason, but what is the reason? First, I don’t know, but also I don’t buy into that. Something could happen just because or because of bad decisions. I believe that God will use things for his glory and our good, but I don’t believe that he is issuing hardships just for the sake of some specific reason. We are a fallen creation, and cancer is not out of the question. How did this come about though? Is this just some big judgment issued by the “universe”? No. I don’t believe that at all.
Is God grieved by illness? I don’t think so. He is in control of all things, even cancer. I thought about it for a while and then came across John Piper’s sermon None of Our Misery Is Meaningless. It explained it clear enough for me. It is not meaningless. “This light momentary affliction is working for you an eternal weight of glory, therefore don’t lose heart.”
I’m trying to go day-by-day. We are looking at up to 10 years before this is finished. We will go day-by-day until the cancer is removed and Carrie’s body is healed. This is part of that for better or for worse, right? We’re in it to win it and it might take six months initially, but we’re ready to fight this.