Today is my birthday! As we age, often we don’t celebrate birthdays as much, but this year, this birthday, is special.
Let me go back to my birthday last year. A week prior I had been told of the suspicious mammogram and ultrasound and I would need to schedule a biopsy. I spent the next six days going through every scenario possible. The good, the bad, and the horrible. The biopsy was scheduled August 12. The day after my birthday.
I love any day I can eat cake and be given gifts…Yes, sugar and gifts are my love language in case you were wondering. Last year, I couldn’t really enjoy the meal with family and friends. I don’t remember if I received gifts (I’m sure I did). My mind was too consumed in the thought that I could be celebrating my last birthday. The entire day that;s where my brain was. I wanted to make sure to get pictures at dinner. A picture with each of my boys. A picture with Chris. I needed all of those pictures, not for me, but for them…for when I was gone.
I was in such a dark place. A place of fear and uncertainty. Would it be my last birthday here on earth? I tried hard to put on a smile and enjoy the day. There were some great moments that day. I was able to enjoy dinner. My family treated me like a princess, like always, but then night came. Nights are when I slow down and my mind begins to go places. It’s been a struggle of mine for decades. One I am medicated for, but it still happens. Last year’s birthday ended in tears. It ended with fear. It ended with so many questions.
Fast forward to today. What a difference a year makes. I am full of life. Full of love. Full of JOY. The journey over the last 365 days was hard, but I made it! My family and friends showered me in love, gifts, and even cupcakes. My husband is taking me shopping this weekend as my gift. But the greatest gift this year, and every year came from my God. He gave me another birthday. Another year to celebrate. Another year to take pictures with those I love. And another year to wear the “birthday hat” that has become a Cotterville tradition.
I am beyond blessed. I am so glad that I didn’t stay in that very dark place from one year ago. I will admit, I was there for a good month while waiting on tests and results. But with the help of all of you and our Heavenly Father, I found hope. My birthday is ending in tears again, but these are happy tears. I’m in awe of how God has blessed me this past year and I cannot wait to come back this time next year and share the blessings that my 38th year of life will bring!
Thank you to all who had a part in the past year. Thank you to all who had a part in making today a wonderful day!! I will leave you tonight with a picture of me in the “birthday hat”!!
God > Cancer!!!