Category Archives: IDC Journey

Q and A with Isaac

Several of you have asked how the boys are doing and, honestly, I had never really asked them specifically. I can tell when they struggle, but I had never asked what do you think about all this and how are you doing. While Isaac is home on Spring Break I decided to ask him some questions. I love this kiddo so much. He has such a big heart and it was good for me to hear his feelings and for him to tell me.

We started with some fun questions and then moved into the harder stuff…ENJOY!

How old are you? 11

What is your favorite color? Blue

Favorite and least favorite subject in school: My favorite subject is History and my least favorite is Art. (This surprised me!)

Favorite things to do outside of school: Rest and play Minecraft.

What do you want to be when you grow up? A History teacher. (Again, surprised. This is a relatively new development.)

If you could go to college today, where would you go? Oklahoma Baptist University, OBU…..GO BISON!

The best thing about playing baseball: Making friends and having fun.

What position do you want to play? Pitcher or Centerfield.

The best thing about karate: Sparring.

How do you feel about testing for your black belt next month? Confident and ready! (He’s been training for this for three years and he is absolutely ready.)

What are your karate goals? To earn my third-degree junior black belt, because no other kid has ever done that before. I want to push one step farther than everyone else. (WOW!)

What is cancer? A disease that is very bad and can hurt people.

When we told you I had cancer how did you feel? Weird. I didn’t like what I had heard. Scared, confused, nervous.

What has been the hardest part so far of my treatment for you? When you went in for surgery. I didn’t think you were going to make it. (He had never said that to me before….) Also, helping take care of Eli.

What good has come out of my treatments? Nothing. (After a little discussion and talking about it). The food train was great. People brought. Us new. Foods we had never tried and it was really good. Especially the strawberry cake from Ms. Kellie!

Are you still scared, nervous, confused?? A little bit. Not really scared. Well, chemo scares me. Because it makes you feel drunk.

Anything else you would like to share with everyone? My baseball coach this season is great. He doesn’t yell at us.

Well, there. You go. Isaac is so strong and so caring. He has taken great care of me and Eli. The. Last five months. He has had to do more than I would like as far as taking care of his brother and helping out around the house, but he always does it with such a positive attitude, usually while singing and dancing along to music he is listening to or hearing in his own mind! We love you so much, Isaac!

This picture captures. Isaac’s personality so well!
One of my favorites of him and me from several years ago.

Late Night Video Update!

Hi! So it’s 4:30 am…steroids got me awake! I thought why not do a video update….I mean you all can see my hot mess, no sleep in the last 21 hours self! And in the spirit of keeping it real, this video is unedited and done in one take! Enjoy

Side note….The dogs are in here with me and when I watched this back I heard that Fabio, our grey American Staffie, was serenading you with snores! I guess I tune it out, but he was rocking it!

Here is the video followed by a pic of my staffie!

Taxol Treatment 9 of 12

It has been a minute since I’ve updated. I feel I just repeat the same things over and over, but I know a lot of you want to know how things are going. I am working on a few different posts and would love ideas on what you want to know. If you have a question, leave a comment. I plan to do a Q and A post soon!

This past Thursday I had my 9th Taxol. It went much the same. The doctor has been giving me an extra bag of fluids each treatment which seems to help my energy levels the day of treatment and the day after. I came home and slept for several hours, but then slept zero Thursday night. The lack of sleep does a number on me emotionally. In addition, the medications mess with your hormones which too makes me emotional. There are times I feel like crying for no reason at all. I feel like if I start crying I may never stop. This has been a struggle the last two days.

The expected pain has started to set in and I fully expect tomorrow to be the worst day of it. That seems to be the routine. By Tuesday I am usually feeling much better and ready to tackle it all over again by Thursday. Okay, that’s a lie. I am never ready for treatment day….Just when I start feeling better I have to get knocked down again.

I keep telling myself I have been doing this since October and there are only three weeks left, four counting recovery, but it feels so far away. I am tired. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally. I want so bad to be done….but then a whole new scary journey begins. I know what to expect now with chemo, but what will radiation bring?

I feel I don’t talk about the emotional struggle enough on here. My family and close friends see it, but I don’t share enough about it. The is almost as much about the mental fight as the physical, if not more. I want to quit. I want to feel normal. I want life the way it was in July of 2020 when there was nothing wrong with me. The reality is, my life will never be the same. I will forever be post-diagnosis Carrie. My families lives will never be the same. They will all have gone through this with me. It’s hard on them. They put on a brave face for me, but I know they hate it and are tired too.

So how do we make it? God! We pray. We lean on our friends and family when we can’t support ourselves. We keep a positive attitude and find the good in whatever we are dealt. When I can’t see positive, someone else helps me find it. We keep a sense of humor about it all. Sometimes people may be put off by us laughing or joking about my cancer, but laughter helps. Sometimes laughing is all we can do to get through.

My medical team at Texas Oncology is great. They are always positive, but real. They tell me what to expect and support me as those things begin to happen. But mostly, they are awesome because they get me. I feel comfortable being honest and telling how I’m doing. I know they won’t get upset if I didn’t drink enough water that week or lost some weight. If I say I was so mean this week to my family, and they assure me it’s the chemo making me that way. They are awesome because they laugh with me when I crack stupid jokes….or wear silly shirts! They cheer me on and are just as excited as I am that my chemo is almost over. It will be weird not seeing them every week! But they swear after this they never want to see me again (at least in the office).

I have said so many times that sometimes it’s okay to not be okay. This week, and over the past five months, there have been moments of not being okay. I want to thank those who have listened to me, cried with me, and picked me back up. For reminding me what I have already overcome and told me I only have THREE MORE TREATMENTS! 5 months of chemo done, ONE to go!

I saw this on Amazon and had to have it. The staff loved it!

God > Cancer!