The biopsy was completed on the afternoon of August 12. They told me it would take two to three business days and they would call me Friday, Monday at the latest.
I was anxious about the results but had a busy few days ahead! Jordan was scheduled to move into his dorm Friday morning and we had a ton of shopping and packing to do. I was sure to stay busy.
My emotions, again, were a rollercoaster. I had so many highs thinking about Jordan moving to college, but then I would think, will I get to see the other two boys graduate and move off? Was my illness going to be a burden on Jordan in his first year of school? When the thoughts came, I would cry and pray and get past them. My goal was to stay busy and put the “c” word farthest from my mind.
A specific prayer I prayed, and later found out some close people to me also prayed, was that the call would not come on Friday. I wanted to be able to focus all my attention on Jordan. It was a huge day in his life. One we all would never forget and I didn’t want the day ruined by news, especially if it was going to be bad. God heard my prayers and my phone stayed silent. We got Jordan all moved in!
The rest of the weekend I tried to remain as busy as possible cleaning up Jordan’s room and the rest of the house.
Monday came…the hours ticked by…At this point I was so over waiting! At 2:00 I decided to call them. As with most clinics these days you get a call center and have to leave a message. It is virtually impossible to get a direct number to the clinic you are trying to reach. I left a message and within an hour they called me back.
I was home alone with the boys at the time. A few friends had been with me most of the day and Chris had to go into the office (He has been working mostly from home since May). I knew I didn’t want to hear the news alone so I asked to three-way call Chris. Once we were all connected she began with the results.
The biopsy of both sites revealed malignancy. My gut feeling was confirmed. The only other information we were given at the time was the type, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. She told us our next step would be to see a breast surgeon and they would be in contact within 48 hours. We were given contact information for the surgeon and hung up. Chris immediately headed home. I think we were both in shock. I asked Isaac to watch his brother for a few minutes and I excused myself to my room to have a breakdown. After an ugly cry, I wiped my tears and headed back out to be with the kiddos. They were exactly what I needed in that instant. It is almost impossible to be sad with Eli and Isaac around!
When Chris got home I had another good cry. In the instant he hugged me I broke. I was terrified. All my thoughts in the hours after finding out was negative. I called and texted family to give them the news and just laid around the rest of the afternoon. By dinner time and much prayer I was in a better mindset and determined to not let the Devil control my thoughts. I choose JOY. I choose HOPE. I choose to FIGHT!
My God is bigger than any cancer diagnosis and His plan is perfect.