This political season has been rough. I think it might have been worse than in the past, but I don’t think it is anything new. Our children see how we react to everything, including this. Just like most other, I have gone out of my way to try and show grace and be friendly, even to those of the opposite political side. I did vote for Trump, but not because of some loyalty I have for the Republican party, definitely not, but specifically because of policies. Isaac and Jordan know this.
We were walking around doing some trick-or-treat’ing on Saturday night and there was a fair share of Trump and Biden signs. I didn’t think anything of it. All of the sudden, we walked up to a house with a Biden sign, and Isaac looks at me through his T-Rex costume and he says, “Dad are we gonna get candy from some of those Biden supporter people? You know how kids say things like THOSE Biden supporter people. Was I taken aback? Yes. I have really tried hard not to show ill towards someone of another political viewpoint. Did he see this come from me? Maybe he saw the chaos on the news. I don’t know.
Once I realized what he said, I had to make sure that he understood that I didn’t believe that this family that supported Joe Biden was some sort of half-bread people. They had a beautiful family. A mom, dad, and kids dressed up in some of the cutest princess dresses you have ever seen before. I made sure to tell him that we can disagree on things, but still respect each other because we are still American’s and can still take candy from them. That may or may not have an effect on him in the future, but at least he can see his old man trying to be kind to strangers. The rioters, public agitators, and politicians do not accurately reflect America and Americans. I’m not being passive here, but we have to teach our kids how to be decent people and I think that 99.8% of people are doing it right.
Why does this have to be strange and uncommon? I don’t think it does.
Trying to figure out all that has been going on with Carrie’s health has been overwhelming, to say the least. I am just a simple person that works in the information technology field that loves amateur radio, firearms, and serving in the Children’s Ministry at church. When Carrie showed concern about something she found in her right breast two months ago, I naturally did not know what to think. After a round of testing, the Dr. called Carrie on a Monday and Carrie did a three-way phone call as I was at work. The Dr. begins talking about malignancy and what we needed to start doing. I had no idea what that was. Turns out malignant is nothing but a synonym for cancer. What a great eye for the obvious, right?
I am very much a morning person. I would rather get up early in the morning and start the day. Carrie is just the opposite. She is happy with a 3 am bedtime and sleeping until 10 am if allowed too. Most of her emotions come out at about 2 am, but I am willing to listen. In one of the breakdowns early in the morning, she said what is the purpose? What’s the meaning of this? Everything happens for a reason, but what is the reason? First, I don’t know, but also I don’t buy into that. Something could happen just because or because of bad decisions. I believe that God will use things for his glory and our good, but I don’t believe that he is issuing hardships just for the sake of some specific reason. We are a fallen creation, and cancer is not out of the question. How did this come about though? Is this just some big judgment issued by the “universe”? No. I don’t believe that at all.
Is God grieved by illness? I don’t think so. He is in control of all things, even cancer. I thought about it for a while and then came across John Piper’s sermon None of Our Misery Is Meaningless. It explained it clear enough for me. It is not meaningless. “This light momentary affliction is working for you an eternal weight of glory, therefore don’t lose heart.”
I’m trying to go day-by-day. We are looking at up to 10 years before this is finished. We will go day-by-day until the cancer is removed and Carrie’s body is healed. This is part of that for better or for worse, right? We’re in it to win it and it might take six months initially, but we’re ready to fight this.
Last week I buried my dad Bruce, affectionately called “Big Daddy”. While my real dad has always been absent and more concerned about other peoples kids, Bruce stepped up in 1990 and made the decision that he would raise Desty and I as his own.
He taught me to hunt, to fish, to drive, how to have a good work ethic, the importance of valuing your family more than anything else. When I was a teenager, he forced me to go to church and I hated it, but ultimately led to my faith in Christ, which is now my ultimate hope. He had such amazing patience.
Big Daddy stood with me when I had those weird teenager ideas. Dad I want to build and fly an R/C airplane, I want to _____. Dad I want to become an amateur radio operator, he supported me there also, and I am still going strong in it.
He may not have been my dad in blood, but he was in everything else. I would not be the person I am today without him and his leadership and guidance. If I could account for even half the person and father he was, I could be happy with life.
The hole in my heart will heal, but the scares will remain, reminding me of who he was, and who I have become because of him.