Monthly Archives: November 2020

Word of the Month – Gratitude

Chris and I help teach on Sunday mornings in the children’s ministry at our church. Each month we have a word that we focus on and with November being the month that Thanksgiving falls, we are talking about gratitude. I thought I would take a few minutes to discuss what Chris and I are grateful for since this journey began.

But first, an update. I am currently sitting at Texas Oncology receiving my third AC chemo treatment. Last week I came in for my treatment as scheduled only to discover that my white blood count was too low to do the infusion. They want the white blood count to be at a 3.5 or higher and I was sitting at a 2.6. Our only real option was to postpone treatment for a week. While this was a minor setback, it is small in the grand scheme of things. My body was allowed an extra week to recover and clearly it needed it. I spent the week resting. I had a rollercoaster sleep pattern. I slept a great deal for the first week or so after chemo. Then i went several days with little to no sleep only to fall back down and sleep for several more days solid. I believe this is the hardest part on my family. When I’m sleeping Chris takes on everything. When I’m awake I feel up to doing a few things, but tire out quick. Just when I think I could go to bed and sleep the insomnia sets in and i’m up until 5 am.

Other than fatigue and crazy sleep patterns the side effects have been minimal. The pre-meds they give me prior to chemo are wonderful and prevent a great deal of the side effects associated with chemo. So much research has been done to improve breast cancer treatment, but there is so much more that needs to be done. I pray that in my lifetime a cure for breast cancer and other cancers can be found!

Now for the actual subject of my post. Gratitude. One definition of the word I found said it was a “warm feeling of thankfulness”. I like that. I wanted to take a few minutes to thank some people who have helped us thus far.

First, our family. Parents, siblings, aunts and uncles have been wonderful. Whether it’s coming to clean my house prior to surgery, coming to take care of my kids while I was having surgery, sending gift cards for meals, gifts that are meaningful and some that bring much needed laughter, my family has been there. They are constantly checking on me as well as everyone else in the house making sure we are okay. Asking what we need an offering to drop everything and come to help if needed. I have known for a long time they were awesome, but this past few months have shown what family is all about. Oh, and did I mention some shaved their heads and beards in support of my first chemo treatment?!? But I am not just speaking of my blood family here, I am speaking also of my “in-laws”. I actually hate that term. The day I married into Chris’s family and my brothers married I gained moms, dads, sisters, and brothers that mean just as much to me as my biological ones! I love you all!

Second is our church family. Wow! Seriously, all of you rock. Starting well before my surgery you have been in constant prayer. I have felt them. With most of our family being so far away, you have filled a gap that we so greatly needed. So many reach out to us to check on us. So many speak to Chris on Sundays to make sure we are all okay. In addition, starting very shortly after my surgery you took on feeding our family. For three solid weeks you provided meals for us every other day. It was always delicious and fed us for far more than one meal at a time. Each meal may have filled us physically, but it also filled our hearts with love. There have been very sweet gifts, gift cards, cash, and notes that I will cherish forever. When we stepped into the church building a little more than four years ago for a visit we had no idea the impact you all would have on our lives. Even before the cancer diagnosis you have taken care of us and been, truly, a family. We thank God daily for all of you!

Finally, friends. People from as far back as high school have reached out, called, texted, and sent cards. These truly do lift our spirits. All of this has made me realize just how vast our community of support is. There are times I am, for lack of a better word, overwhelmed, but not in a bad way. I have found so much joy throughout this journey and that is thanks to everyone in our lives being there for us.

Through all of you our boys are being taught what love and support means. They are seeing that even in the midst of a battle there can be joy. Though we may find ourselves in darkness that there are always people there to be the light we need. When we feel weak and scared there are others to hold us tight and calm our fears.

As we move into the Thanksgiving season, please know how truly grateful we are. Our hope is that we will one day be able to bless some of you in the way you have blessed us.

Your Children WILL Humble You

This political season has been rough. I think it might have been worse than in the past, but I don’t think it is anything new. Our children see how we react to everything, including this. Just like most other, I have gone out of my way to try and show grace and be friendly, even to those of the opposite political side. I did vote for Trump, but not because of some loyalty I have for the Republican party, definitely not, but specifically because of policies. Isaac and Jordan know this.

We were walking around doing some trick-or-treat’ing on Saturday night and there was a fair share of Trump and Biden signs. I didn’t think anything of it. All of the sudden, we walked up to a house with a Biden sign, and Isaac looks at me through his T-Rex costume and he says, “Dad are we gonna get candy from some of those Biden supporter people? You know how kids say things like THOSE Biden supporter people. Was I taken aback? Yes. I have really tried hard not to show ill towards someone of another political viewpoint. Did he see this come from me? Maybe he saw the chaos on the news. I don’t know.

Once I realized what he said, I had to make sure that he understood that I didn’t believe that this family that supported Joe Biden was some sort of half-bread people. They had a beautiful family. A mom, dad, and kids dressed up in some of the cutest princess dresses you have ever seen before. I made sure to tell him that we can disagree on things, but still respect each other because we are still American’s and can still take candy from them. That may or may not have an effect on him in the future, but at least he can see his old man trying to be kind to strangers. The rioters, public agitators, and politicians do not accurately reflect America and Americans. I’m not being passive here, but we have to teach our kids how to be decent people and I think that 99.8% of people are doing it right.

Why does this have to be strange and uncommon? I don’t think it does.

Happy Halloween!

This post is going to be a fun one!

2020 has been a year of cancelations and disappointments, but yesterday, Halloween, was the most normal it has felt in a while.

I woke up feeling decent. My major complaint over the past week has been fatigue. I have always loved sleep, but I have slept so much it’s not really enjoyable anymore. I am sleeping a good 16 or more hours a day. Most of this at night where I will sleep from 8:30 pm to noon or after only waking long enough to take Eli to daycare in the morning. Chris has been awesome through it all picking up the slack and allowing me to sleep all I need, but I can tell fatigue is taking a toll on him as well.

Thankfully, I was able to enjoy the Halloween festivities with my family. I got worn out and headed back to the car before Chris and Isaac, but I managed to get about 3,000 steps beforehand. The exercise felt great and the weather was close to perfect.

Enough about cancer, let’s talk about our fun Halloween! Our Saturday was uneventful up until time to go trick or treating. There was a lot of uncertainty as to how the community would react to COVID restrictions. Whether anyone would be doing the traditional handing out of candy.

Our fabulous church had a drive-through trunk or treat that started the evening off with a lot of laughs, waves from great friends, and tons of candy!

From the church, we headed to Sonic for dinner. It’s hard to pass up fifty cent corn dogs. We then went to a parking lot to wait for some friends and eat our dinner in a COVID picnic fashion.

Some great friends met up with us and we decided to go to a new spot to trick or treat that had a great reputation for good participation and tons of candy. This is where things felt normal. There were so many houses decorated and people walking the streets laughing and having a great time. Of course, everyone was trying to follow the rules. Candy was being given in creative ways to allow distance from the candy giver and the trick or treaters. Families were waiting for their turns to approach and moving aside to allow passing on sidewalks. Everyone had a wonderful time and the kids came home with millions of candy calories in their bags.

I am sure you are wondering about the costumes! Isaac had his mindset months ago that he wanted to be T-Rex. You know the one. The six-foot inflatable one. He had to hang his head out of the car at the church and gave us a ton of laughs trying to get candy with his little T-Rex arms. Here are a few of our favorite pictures of him

Hanging out of the car!
T-Rex wanted a bite of the full moon!

Eli was our “Baby Clown”. He wasn’t sure what all of the excitement was. Our first stop every year is across the street at one of our favorite neighbor’s house. In the picture below Eli was trying to figure it all out.

That is one of my favorite pictures of the night! This specific costume carries great memories and emotions for me. This costume came into our home 16 years ago when Jordan was about 17 months. He wore this costume. We attended Boo at the Zoo in Little Rock, Arkansas where Jordan won the cutest costume.

I kept this costume in my dresser for years. Not really knowing why I just couldn’t get rid of it. Then Isaac came along. When he was roughly the same age, 23 months, he wore it for Halloween. Again I kept it. Two kids had now worn it. It would be something I kept forever. We had no idea another baby would get to wear it. When we found out about baby number three and that it was a boy, I knew he too would wear this costume. So at 22 months, Eli became “Baby Clown” number three!

What I didn’t realize during all those years was that when I was roughly the same age my parents had dressed me up as a clown! Mom posted a picture a while back showing me as the original “Baby Clown”.

For your viewing pleasure, here is a collage showing all four of us! If you look closely at my picture, you see my hat had the same kind of hair. How cool! Also, this picture shows how much my boys look like me.

I hope your Halloween was nice and that the upcoming holidays bring much love and joy to your families! Halloween starts my absolute favorite two months of the year!

From Left to Right- Top: Me and Jordan. Bottom: Isaac and Eli