Today Has Been Hard

Today has been a hard day, both physically and emotionally.

When radiation ended, I knew I would be starting hormone therapy that would last ten years. It would be in two segments, each lasting five years. Two and a half months ago I began the first phase.

I would be given a monthly shot, Zoladex and take a daily pill, Letrazole. As with most medications, they both come with a long list of side effects. By far, the worst has been bone, joint, and muscle pain.

Over the past few weeks I have noticed that it’s a bit harder to get up off the floor or roll out of bed in the mornings to start my day, but moving around usually helps. Today has been different. There has been pain and discomfort in both my hands and nothing I have done has brought relief. This is a combination of the Letrazole and the lingering neuropathy from chemo. I do have some medication left over from my chemo days that the doctor said I could take if needed. I took that at dinner and I’m hopeful it will help soon!

That’s the physical side, which led to the emotional side. Today has been one of my lowest days since chemo ended back in March. Knowing this treatment will last five years is hard. I know that if things get bad enough, we can look at other treatment options, but the reality is that these types of symptoms will more than likely come and go throughout the course of treatment. That’s a hard pill to swallow, literally.

I have to remind myself that it’s temporary. There will be good and bad days. I am still in the fight. I have conquered chemo and radiation and I will conquer this as well. God is so much bigger than this!

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