Tag Archives: diagnosis

AC Chemo Round 3

It has been a bit since I updated the blog. The main reason is, this round of chemo kicked my butt. A week and a half ago I went in for round three of four. I was feeling pretty well and optimistic that I was halfway done with the “yucky chemo”. The infusion, as always, went fine. My labs all looked decent, but I was starting this round with the lowest starting white blood count when compared to rounds one and two. I was starting at around 6.5. While this is considered normal, round one was a 7 and round two a 13 so I wasn’t sure if that would affect anything. After the infusion, I went home and just laid around the rest of the day. Unlike most, I am always very tired on the day of infusion. Most are not because as part of the pre-need protocol you are giving a heavy steroid which keeps most up the night of treatment. Not this girl!

I slept off and on treatment day and went to bed shortly after Eli that evening. He goes down like clockwork around 8:00 every evening. Like me, he loves his sleep. The next two or three days I don’t remember much. I slept….a lot. If I had to guess, it was an average of 20 hours a day. I can vaguely remember talking to the kids and Chris. I remember him talking to me and feeling like my eyes were rolling back in my head. I just could not stay awake.

Once I started to be up a bit more I was more nauseous than I have been. I had to take medicine four or five times and didn’t even do that with rounds one and two combined. Like the previous times, I lost my taste and had the weird metallic all smell, but it seemed a bit more intense. Nothing at all tasted good to eat. I’m fairly certain I skipped several meals that first week from either sleeping through them or just not being able to eat due to lack of taste. My go-to items seem to be shakes from Sonic and peanuts butter. Not the healthiest of options, but I am working hard to stay hydrated with water and Gatorade and get calories in how I can, when I can.

I believe it was Monday I started feeling a bit better. I was still very tired, but able to stay up most of the day. Then the next symptom hit. Insomnia. I had this in round two as well. I went several nights, I believe two, where I didn’t sleep at all. I then would have to compensate by sleeping during the day. It’s frustrating but manageable. A lot of people do that when they work overnight shifts. During the nights I would binge-watch shows and play games on my iPad. I wanted to do things around the house, but wanting and doing are completely separate things.

Today I feel human. I finally got my body back on the normal day/night schedule and have slept well the last two or three nights. I woke up when Eli did, at 6:00 am….yes, on a Saturday. We cuddled in bed for a bit and have been going strong since. I plan to cook some dinner this evening for the family, work on the mountain of laundry that has piled up, and have already placed the weekly grocery order. I will try to make the best of this time before round four takes me back down again.

Round four was scheduled to occur on Tuesday. I wasn’t thrilled with this because that meant I would sleep through Thanksgiving and when I was awake not be able to taste any of the yummy food. We have some sweet friends who invited us over for dinner and promised to handle everything so I didn’t have to…I want so bad to be able to enjoy that time with family and our adopted family. On Thursday of last week, I got a call that there was a scheduling conflict and they would need to change my chemo date. She said she could get me in late Wednesday or would have to push me to the week after Thanksgiving. After discussing my options with her, it was best that we push it until after the Holiday. I will be having my fourth and final AC chemo treatment on December 1. I will get to enjoy the week with Chris, who is off work, and all three of my boys! I will get to taste Thanksgiving….and for a few moments forget that I have cancer. For that I am grateful!

We are bummed that we can’t do our normal Thanksgiving trip to Arkansas, but with COVID, it’s just not safe for me, really, any of us. I’m not scared of COVID, but it’s real and for someone in such a vulnerable state, it is wise we hide out here and spend time with only those we are close to here. In the short-term it stinks, but when we must focus on still being around next year and for many years to come!

Jordan will be coming home soon and will be with us through the new year and we are thrilled to have him home! The next month is sure to be exciting. Yes, there will be ups and downs, but we plan to focus entirely on the ups!!!

If I don’t get another blog up before Thursday, Happy Thanksgiving. I challenge you to look at your lives and examine how God has blessed you in 2020. There is joy in every situation. Even in 2020. Even during a global pandemic or a cancer diagnosis, God is blessing us. How has He blessed you?

How Important is Family History

We have all been to appointments and been asked hundreds of questions about family history. It is annoying and something that I didn’t pay much attention to until recently. History is used to know if you are at a greater likelihood of certain diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and even some cancers. I want to talk specifically about knowing your family history of cancer.

At the very beginning of the IDC journey, I was asked about family history relating to cancer. I had to have conversations with both my parents to learn that, as it turns out, every one of my biological grandparents had cancer. All different types and all at different stages in their lives. Are they related? Does that make me more prone to getting it myself? I had so many questions.

The most recent bought with cancer my family faced was my maternal grandmother. Though she was never officially diagnosed, that I am aware of, we believe that she had and most likely died from breast cancer. I was upset for a long time that she had hit a lump and opted to never tell anyone because she didn’t want treatment forced on her. I battled internally with anger and thinking how selfish that was for those down the line genetically. I was able to let go of the anger and hurt, but it took time. Even sometime after she had passed. It is not something I have openly discussed, even with my mom. I have mentioned it at times and told her if she ever did that to me I would slap her. I hope that we have an understanding now!

Anyway, I get the reason she kept it a secret. Treatment is hard. She was ready to go home. She didn’t want the brutal fight. I respect that. What I didn’t respect at the time were the potential implications that would have on her daughters, grand-daughters, and great-grand-daughters. Had there been a definite known history of breast cancer I might have been screened at an earlier age. I did unofficially know and I could have said something to my doctors, but I didn’t. I do not blame her for my cancer. I do not blame her for me not getting a mammogram until now. That I somewhat blame on science. They said I was too young for cancer and didn’t need routine mammograms until 40.

I say all that to share what I have learned in the past two months about family history and genetics. The first appointment I had with my oncologist we discussed genetic testing. She agreed that due to my “young” age and a family history of cancers in the reproductive system it would be wise to be tested. The testing was simple. We worked with a genetic counselor to do a family tree. In that, we outlined everyone in my immediate family going back to my grandparents. This would include my grandparents, my parents, aunts and uncles, my siblings, and all our kids. She asked about known cancer for each person and we put that in their box on the tree. We then went and had a simple blood draw done. The test was looking at, I believe, 95 different genetic markers known to be associated with cancer. 95!

The results took a few weeks to come back. At that time we discussed with the counselor how very few come back positive. I may have my numbers all wrong, but I believe she said that only 19 percent of cancers are genetic. The rest are caused by environment or unknown reasons.

When the results came back they showed that I was negative for all genetic cancer markets. My cancer was not genetic. I was relieved. There are a lot of important people in my life and I was happy to know that I and, most likely, my siblings, did not carry genetic cancer genes. We cannot say whether my nieces and nephews do or do not because they will have very different DNA. We cannot even be 100 percent sure my brothers do not, because even though we share the same parents, their DNA is unique. But the likelihood they do is very small.

To sum it all up, my cancer is not genetic. All the family history of cancer is more than likely just a coincidence. We have no way of knowing for sure. All I can advise you to do is ask your family about the history of cancer in your family. If you feel there is a lot, or even if there is just one case, ask your doctor about genetic testing. It can be tricky to get insurance to cover the cost, but it might be worth an out-of-pocket expense to piece of mind.

The genetic counselor did say that people who are adopted or do not know their family history are actually easier to test because the leg work done before in gathering all the information is not needed. If you have no idea what your history is, go be tested. It may help provide answers.

Am I Old or Not?

Before I get to explaining the title of this post I will provide you with an update. I am five days post-chemo and for the most part holding up well. I have had fatigue and in the last few days some nausea has set in. I have lost some taste, which is for sure a bummer when it comes time to eat. Things I love no longer taste good such as my beloved Dr. Pepper or Whataburger. I don’t need those things anyway, so maybe it is a blessing. I pray this is how each infusion will go, but I am fully prepared for the symptoms to increase as I continue to receive treatments. This is my off week of chemo. I will go on Tuesday to have blood work done to make sure everything looks good and then next Tuesday will receive cycle two of four of the AC chemo.

Now to the title of the post. This will require some back story, but it is something that has brought a laugh to me over the last few weeks.

Eli, who will be two in December, was a complete and total unexpected blessing to our family. When I became pregnant I was a young 34 years old. At my first appointment with the OB she informed me that since I would turn 35 while pregnant that I became a bit higher risk. In the state of Texas, a “geriatric pregnancy” is defined as anyone pregnant over the age of 35. I remember thinking, man, I thought I was in prime child bearing years at 35. Who knew that made me high risk. Throughout my pregnancy my age was talked about on numerous occasions. They continued to use the term geriatric, which absolutely cracked me up. The pregnancy was fairly routine. I did end up having gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. All this combined with my “old” age meant I would be induced and have our beautiful baby boy at 37 weeks. No complaints from me as that meant three less weeks pregnant and it put him coming in just under the wire to be able to claim him on our 2018 taxes.

Fast forward to today. I was diagnosed with invasive ducal carcinoma breast cancer roughly a week after I turned 37. From the very first visit with the surgeon to the visits with all the other physicians who would treat me, my age was again a factor. This time for the opposite reason. You are so young. It is not common for someone under 40 with no real family history to get breast cancer. Actually, the median age of a woman diagnosed with breast cancer in America is around 62 with most diagnosis being those age 55-64. So I am a good 20 years too young for breast cancer. This just proves that cancer does not discriminate or follow any rules. We know that my genetics are not the cause of my cancer, but we may never know what did cause it.

You often hear that God works in mysterious ways and His plan is perfect. I truly believe this. At the time we laughed at the thought of “starting over” with a new baby. We had a junior in high school, a third grader, and a newborn. Who does that? Now, two years later, I know exactly why Eli came along. I feel God put him in our lives for three specific reasons.

First, simply, our family was not complete. God knew we needed the little firecracker to keep things exciting! Both of his brothers adore him so much and the feeling is mutual. His best friends are his big brothers. his dad and I are pretty fond of the little dude as well. He brings so much joy to our home.

Second, I do not believe I would have found the cancer had he not been born. I breastfed Eli for roughly 9 months. I would like to say i am fairly in tune with my body. When I stopped breastfeeding I noticed that things on my right breast felt different. I don’t know how to describe it, it was just not normal. I brushed it aside thinking it was my body trying to dry my milk up and that the harder spot was a clogged milk duct or something. When that lump began to become larger and more uncomfortable I questioned if it was related to breastfeeding or something else. I still put off talking to my doctor for longer than I should. Hindsight is always 20/20. I have learned that tumors like mine take years to be able to be felt by hand. This mass could have been there while pregnant and while breastfeeding. I have no idea if feeding Eli caused it to grow faster or if it just made me more aware of what was going on in my body, but thanks to breastfeeding this beautiful baby boy, I found the lump. It was still nearly a year later before I brought it to the attention of my physician, because, again, I was making excuses for what it was. I mean, I was too young to have breast cancer, right? When a few other things had been ruled out, I knew it was time to speak up. So glad I did!

And third, God put Eli in our lives to get us through this fight. Not that my other two boys aren’t worth fighting for, they absolutely are, but having another kid, especially one so young, makes you want to fight harder. I want to see all my kids graduate high school, start college, get married, and have their own kids. To do that I need a good 20 more years in my own life. God gave us Eli, so full of energy, to help fight the fatigue that chemo would bring. It is hard to sit idle when you have a 22-month old terrorizing the house. It is hard to be sad and down on yourself when you have an innocent little guy giving you “cheesy grins”.

Look at the cheesy grin!

While one speciality might think I’m too old for babies and another that I’m too young for cancer, I know that God has a perfect plan for my life and I trust Him. The path may not always be clear and straight. There will be detours and obstacles, but we must trust in our Lord to get us to the end of the race.